[chat!fic] here we go again; hockey rpf, eric staal/jeff skinner

[delacourtings]

here we go again. hockey rpf. eric/jeff. mostly pg-13, but slightly r at the end. high school au. chat!fic.

So, uh, Kiat and I were texting and uh, this happened. I apologize in advance. Featuring: Jonathan Toews, Patrick/Abby Sharp, Phil Kessel/Tyler Bozak, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin, Sidney Crosby, Geno Malkin, and Elias Lindholm. Also an appalling lack of capitalization and lots of instances of using the Lord's name in vain.

HERE WE GO AGAIN

delacourtings: i started wondering what it would be like if they and the rest of my faves were in the same hs together
delacourtings: and eric would be student body president because of his charisma
delacourtings: but jonny would be vp
delacourtings: and they'd work together seamlessly
delacourtings:sharpy's treasurer because he's actually somewhat responsible despite how it seems
delacourtings:and he lost president to eric by just one vote
delacourtings: secretary's sid because jonny roped him into it
delacourtings: and sid and jonny are co-captains of the hockey team
delacourtings: (they originally both tried to give the position to the other until coach made them shut the fuck up about it)
delacourtings: and sharpy and eric are the alternates

delacourtings: and there's an exchange student from russia called geno
delacourtings: who everyone's wary of at first because they aren't sure he'll be able to understand
delacourtings: but somehow he's able to communicate perfectly with sid who is the most awkward guy on the team
delacourtings: speaking of awkward there's also phil who seems really standoffish at first
delacourtings: but is actually just shy and is really nice once you get to know him
delacourtings: with phil comes bozie
delacourtings: who someone holds the reputation for a stoner despite never actually being stoned

delacourtings: and they all know segs because he used to go to their rival school before he transferred (no ones really sure why)
delacourtings: he kind of gives off a frat bro vibe but really he's just a huge softie
delacourtings: the same can be said for jamie
delacourtings: who you never see without tyler at his side
delacourtings: it was surprising the relationship that developed between them almost instantly since Jamie's kind of quiet
delacourtings: unless the topic of  conversation is important to him or he's being spoken to
delacourtings: and tyler's rep for bro-ness
delacourtings: but he and jamie's chemistry is undeniable on and off the ice

delacourtings: last are the underclass men eli and skinner eli's an exchange student too and a freshmen making him the youngest on the team
delacourtings: the guys all look out for him like a brother they have an instinctive need to protect
delacourtings: the other underclassmen is a sophomore named skinner
delacourtings: who eric has taken under his wing
delacourtings: skinners like a puppy
delacourtings: hanging off eric's every word
delacourtings: and following him every where he goes
delacourtings: it's obvious that skins is harboring a major crush on eric
delacourtings: who loves it (and totally has a crush on his own though he won't admit it)
delacourtings: they're all a huge somewhat incestuous family who love and support one another
delacourtings: and get together at least once a month for (inevitably) fights, video games, pizza, and beer

staalskinner: what if I fucking pushed you into a god damn active volcano I'm crying that was bEAUTIFUL
delacourtings: it should be my arm is killing me JFC
staalskinner: i'm laughing SOSOSOSOS ha rd I need a fic
delacourtings: god can u imagine
delacourtings: like jeff getting upset because of how close eric and jonny are
delacourtings: and how he'll never be that close to him me: because he's just a dumb kid
staalskinner: and he tells eli,
staalskinner: and eli just sits there laughing
staalskinner: and rolling his eyes because god,
staalskinner: jeff is so damn clueless.

delacourtings: the contrast between Eli and Jeff's relationship
delacourtings: and jonny and Eric's
delacourtings: like Eric just goes on and on about jeff all the time
delacourtings: and it'd be annoying
delacourtings: except for the fact that jonny doesn't think eric even knows he's doing it
delacourtings: and one day he's just like eric.
delacourtings: you have to see what's going on here

staalskinner: GOD.
staalskinner: eric is like "what are you talking about..."
staalskinner: and jonny gets that stupid serious look on his face
staalskinner: and tells eric what's what
staalskinner: then eric gets this look of realization like "oh fuck..."
delacourtings: and eric would totally try to angst about it
delacourtings: but jonny wouldn't let him
delacourtings: every time eric came up with an excuse me: like "he's too young"
delacourtings: jonny would be like "he's four years younger than you dipshit"
delacourtings: and "what if he doesn't feel the same way"
delacourtings: that one just gets a typical jonny are u fucking kidding me stare
delacourtings: because seriously eric
delacourtings: everybody knows jeff feels the same way

staalskinner: and jeff angsts because why would eric like a stupid kid like him
staalskinner: and eli is the type of best friend who tells you how amazing you are and etc
staalskinner: so jeff tries to work himself up to ask eric out after hockey practice
staalskinner: and then ends up screaming it because he's so nervous
staalskinner: and eric laughs a little
staalskinner: and jeff thinks he's laughing at him
staalskinner: so he turns around and leaves
delacourtings: and eric runs after and kisses him
delacourtings: until he's breathless
delacourtings: and there's color on his cheeks
delacourtings: and his hairs been disheveled
delacourtings: and god he looks really good like that RIGHT

staalskinner: holy shite i love how this turned into eric/jeff so fast
staalskinner: it's truly beautiful
delacourtings: isn't it?
staalskinner: we need someone to write this shit because now I really want it

delacourtings: omg
delacourtings: even after getting together tho jeff would still worry about everything
delacourtings: like he'd spend a few days agonising over what people think
delacourtings: and doesn't stop until eric calls a school wide meeting
delacourtings: in which he plants one on jeff in front of the whole school
delacourtings: and that's the entire point of the meeting me: and they both get detention
delacourtings: but it's sooooo worth it

delacourtings: and JEFF STARTING TO WORRY ONCE APRIL COMES AROUND
delacourtings: AND COLLEGE ACCEPTANCE LETTERS ROLL IN
staalskinner: OH GOD CRYIGN.
staalskinner: eric doesn't tell jeff that he applied to schools near where they live
staalskinner: because they've had this conversation
staalskinner: and he knows that jeff doesn't want to hold him back
staalskinner: from something great
delacourtings: and jeff doesn't realize
delacourtings: that jeff is what motivates eric to do something great
delacourtings: HES Eric's inspiration and dedication and guiding light
delacourtings: and he doesn't even know it
staalskinner: WHATTHE FCK YOU TOOK IT TOO F AR

staalskinner: what if eric proposed to jeff during prom or something
staalskinner: because Eric is so cliche
delacourtings: OH GOD
stallskinner: eric would be like "I've got a surprise for tonight"
delacourtings: and anyone else would be like oh he got a hotel room how romantic!
delacourtings: but Jeff thinks oh no he's gonna break up with me
delacourtings: he's gonna break up with me and he's gonna do it in prom night
delacourtings: and eric knows something's been up with jeff
delacourtings: so when his acceptance letters to the local UNIs come
delacourtings: he leaves them casually strewn across his desk
delacourtings: but ofc jeff only sees the one that's from a college 3000 miles away

delacourtings: and so eric comes up with this whole big proposal plan
delacourtings: and he enlists jonny and sharpy's help
delacourtings: (and totally runs it by sharpy's long time gf abby to see if it's romantic enough first)
staalskinner: OH MY GOD
staalskinner: CAN YOU IMAGINE ABBY GIVING ERIC A FOND LOOK
staalskinner: AND JUST SHAKING HER HEAD SAYING "HONEY NO, LET ME DO THIS"
delacourtings: OH MY GOD YES
delacourtings: HER FACE THE FIRST TIME HE GOES TO HER AND SAYS
delacourtings: "HEY IS IT COOL IF I PROPOSE TO JEFF IN MY TRUCK?"
staalskinner: FUCK OMG
staalskinner: AND HE MADE A MIXTAPE OF COUNTRY LOVE SONGS
staalskinner: AND ABBY SLAPS THE BACK OF HIS HEAD
delacourtings: AND ONCE SHE'S SURE HE UNDERSTANDS
delacourtings: THAT IS NOT THE WAY TO GO
delacourtings: SHE SIGHS AND SAYS "LET ME SEE IT"
delacourtings: AND THE LAST SONG ON THE TRACKLIST IS SAVE A HORSE RIDE A COWBOY
delacourtings: AND SHE JUST LOOKS AT HIM
delacourtings: AND HE GOES
delacourtings: "IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY.
delacourtings: BECAUSE IM SO COUNTRY.
delacourtings: I LIVE ON A FARM."

staalskinner: I CANT FUCKING BREATHE
staalskinner: I CAN TOTALLY SEE ERIC DOING THIS
staalskinner: AND ITS SO FUNNY
delacourtings: AND SHARPY WOULD GO TO MAKE FUN OF ERIC
delacourtings: BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE GOES WHERE ABBY GOES
delacourtings: ABD THE SHOPKEEPERS ALL KNOW HIM BY NAME
delacourtings: BECAUSE HES BEEN COMING IN ONCE A WEEK
delacourtings: TRYING TO FIND THE PERFECT RING FOR ABBY FOR YEARS
delacourtings: SO THE WHOLE TIME HES DODGING ALL THE CLERKS AND EVERYTHING
delacourtings: AND IS ACTING SO WEIRD THAT ABBY GIVES HIM THE FREE PASS TO LEAVE
delacourtings: IF ALL OF THE MARRIAGE TALK IS FREAKING HIM OUT SO MUCH
delacourtings: AND HE BOLTS
delacourtings: BUT NOT AT ALL FOR THE REASON SHE THNKS
delacourtings: (sry i had 2 get my sharpy/abby in there)
staalskinner: I feel like abby would secretly know, ja feel?
staalskinner: like she just knows him so well
staalskinner: that she /knows/
delacourtings: oh shed totally know
delacourtings: and he would have no clue
delacourtings: that she knew
staalskinner: she's so perfect wow

staalskinner: do u think eric would tell eli about the proposal....
delacourtings: OOH BACK TO ERIC
delacourtings: he'd go straight for the shiny expensive stuff they put out solely to catch your eye
delacourtings: and he's this close to demanding THAT ONE!
delacourtings: but abby yanks on his pants pocket me: and he jumps and looks around wildly for sharpy
delacourtings: because she SO came onto him
delacourtings: and she rolls her eyes and say "feel that?"
delacourtings: And tug on the pocket again "that's your lack of money, cowboy"
staalskinner: JEUSS CHSIRG

delacourtings: oh my god probably??
delacourtings: because he knows how important eli is to jeff
delacourtings: and he wants eli to understand how much he cares about him
delacourtings: and wants to know if he ~approves~
delacourtings: HLP
staalskinner: FUCK ERIC ASKING ELI FOR APPROVAL
staalskinner: HOLY SHIT IMM GONNA PASS OUT
staalskinner: eli would probably just be like,
staalskinner: "can he still be my best friend and stay here?"
staalskinner: and give eric the puppy dog look
staalskinner: oh mY HOD

delacourtings: do u think eli would try to calm jeff down on prom night
delacourtings: by saying that eric's probably just planned a nice romantic getaway or something
delacourtings: and not to worry so much
delacourtings: and so when they're at the dance eric asks jeff if he has any guesses for tonight?
delacourtings: and jeff jokes "no but eli thinks you're gonna propose"
delacourtings: and then he sees the look on Eric's face
delacourtings: and eric's like "you ruined it! i had a plan! it was abby approved and everything!"
delacourtings: and jeff just stares at him in shock

delacourtings: before he bursts out laughing
delacourtings: and eric says "that's not the reaction i was hoping for"
delacourtings: and jeff laughs again and pulls him closer
delacourtings: and whispers "i thought you were gonna break up with me"
delacourtings: and eric's completely thrown off
delacourtings: "break up with you? why would i ever break up with you?"
delacourtings: and Jeff's confused now and says "but...north carolina?
delacourtings: i saw the acceptance letter on your desk" me: and eric rolls his eyes
delacourtings: "im not going to north carolina"
delacourtings: "but...why?"
delacourtings: "because north carolina didn't offer me a full ride.
delacourtings:  and because north carolina is more than 15 miles away from you."

delacourtings: and jeff can't believe what eric's saying
delacourtings: that he's staying so close to home
delacourtings: so close to jeff
delacourtings: and eric smiles and jeff surges forward and kisses him
delacourtings: and eric breaks it to say "is that a yes?"
delacourtings: and jeff has totally forgotten
delacourtings: and he starts freaking out again

delacourtings: "aren't we too young?"
delacourtings: and eric says "engagements can last years"
delacourtings: and kisses him again
delacourtings: only for jeff to break it off
delacourtings: and eric frowns but jeff laughs and says "okay"
delacourtings: and it takes eric a minute but then he goes "okay?"
delacourtings: "okay" jeff smiles and eric wraps his arms around him and kisses him again
delacourtings: and they can hear abby and sharpy and jonny and eli and all of the rest of the team clapping and whooping around them

EPILOGUE
























AKA THE BACHELOR PARTIES

staalskinner: FUCK IMSGINE THE BACHELOR PARTY THE TEAM WOULD THROW FOR EFIC I CNA TREYH

staalskinner: god imagine the party eli would throw for jeff because it'd be just the two of them. ~*~pizza party~*~

delacourtings: OH MY GOD
delacourtings: they would so take him to a strip club and one of the potential couples would get together that night
delacourtings: because of how uncomfortable they find the ordeal
delacourtings: phil would walk out in embarrassment and boz would follow to comfort him
delacourtings: and tell him it was okay and they kiss under the flashing neon light of the strip club sign
delacourtings: and laugh about how their how we got together story is going to include a strip club

delacourtings: and while the strip club was going on Eli and jeff would be at Abby's
delacourtings: because eli wanted to have his own party with jeff
delacourtings: and abby calls and invites jeff over
delacourtings: asking if he can please for the love of god come attempt to teach her how to cook
delacourtings: because no matter how hard she tries she can never follow his recipe
delacourtings: and get the exact same taste of his homemade mac and cheese or those damn delicious sugar cookies
delacourtings: and jeff doesn't want to say no
delacourtings: but he doesn't want to hurt eli's feelings
delacourtings: but eli says lets go! because he loves abby
delacourtings: and the only thing he really cares about is spending time with jeff
delacourtings: and they pick up pizza and beer on the way there
delacourtings: because abby calls halfway through the drive saying that she might have just burned down the kitchen

staalskinner: OH MY GOD

staalskinner: abby, eli and jeff would be that circle of friends who do almost everything together
staalskinner: and people get confused because they're so different

delacourtings: oh my god YES they'd be like mean girls but nice and not all girls

staalskinner: holy shit lol.
staalskinner: sharpy would be like "I just don't get it"
staalskinner: to the team when they have a get together
staalskinner: and abby, eli and jeff are in another room dancing and laughing while everyone is just confused

delacourtings: OH MY GOSH
delacourtings: jeff would be in the middle while ABBY and Eli grinded on either side of him
delacourtings: and the team would constantly tease eric "don't wanna go save your man over there"
delacourtings: and eric just rolls smiles sarcastically and drinks his beer
delacourtings: but he secretly loves it because it's one of the times when jeff's most himself

delacourtings: plus jeff+grinding=hot in any form

EXTRAS













AKA THE SHIT NOT IN A LINEAR PROGRESSION/SHIT THAT DIDN'T FIT ANYWHERE ELSE

EXHIBIT A

staalskinner: HESUS IM CRYIFN ERIC LOVES JEFF SO MCUH can you imagine him teaching jeff to drive I cant

delacourtings: oh my god can you imagine him teaching jeff to drive STICK

staalskinner: oh my CHRIST and eric getting a giant boner

delacourtings: "okay now just pretend the gear is my penis"
delacourtings: "ERIC"
delacourtings: "i don't care if we're engaged you're still paying for repairs if you crash this...what?"

delacourtings: "you said engaged"

delacourtings: "oh shut up"

delacourtings: "love you too"

EXHIBIT B

staalskinner: JESUS i bet jeff would talk so much shit about Eric's truck

delacourtings: OMF how many times do u think eric has tried to get jeff to have sex in it and jeff has flat out refused

staalskinner: probably more than 10 times

staalskinner: "jeff it'd be fun"
staalskinner: "no eric"
staalskinner: "please"

delacourtings: JESUS i bet eric tried to play it cool and be like
delacourtings: "if not here, now then none at all"
delacourtings: and jeff just shrugs and hops out of the truck
delacourtings: yelling over his shoulder "bye, eric!"
delacourtings: and eric's just stuck there in shock with an aching hardon

staalskinner: i bet eric would jerk it in his truck after jeff leaves and then he's like "oh"

delacourtings: and jeff would call him from the house saying "please tell me you are not jerking off in the driveway of my house"

delacourtings: and eric's like "of course not! i just finished. a whole ago now actually."
delacourtings: and jeff squeaks  "already??"
delacourtings: and eric knows that's the way jeff voices gets when he's turned on sometimes
delacourtings: so he lazily starts stroking himself again "you haven't?" he asks knowing the answer
delacourtings: and he can hear jeff's gulp through the phone
delacourtings: "no"
delacourtings: "mmm you should. does wonders. releases all that pent up..."
delacourtings: he pauses and he can hear jeff quietly moaning
delacourtings: "eric."
delacourtings: "...frustration."

staalskinner: OHMY gOD FUCK how funny would it be if jeff's parents or one of his siblings caught him ID PEE

delacourtings: I WAS GONNA ADD THAT but i got lazy

staalskinner: smdh layla these are important things

delacourtings: SORRY

delacourtings: it turns out jeff isn't the thing coming.
delacourtings: jeff's mother is heading eric's way. and she's got the kids with her. fuck fuck duck fuckity fuck fuck

staalskinner: OGM jeff's little sister would be like "hey! eric is here! look mom!" and everyone would turn and look

delacourtings: and he tries to grab his backpack and put in his lap to cover it up OMG

staalskinner: FUCK OMG he'd still be on the phone with jeff
staalskinner: talking to Jeff's parents and jeff is laughing in his ear

delacourtings: "oh is that jeff? not wanting to say goodbye? oh, you two are so cute! tell him he better have started his laundry!"
delacourtings: "um...yes ma'am."

staalskinner: HOLY GOD LOL
staalskinner: i bet Eric's brothers would somehow find out and just laugh in his face for weeks like
staalskinner: "ha dude his parents almost caught you jerking it in their driveway!"

delacourtings: oh my gOD and one day they're standing around in the kitchen
delacourtings: giving him he'll for it and their mom walks in and sighs and says "oh, eric."

staalskinner: OH ERIC OHYM LORD.
delacourtings: and eric just lays his head on the table
delacourtings: and flips his brothers off and sighs dramatically

delacourtings: and he complains to jeff about it and jeff just laughs

staalskinner: "maybe you shouldn't have jerked it in my driveway babe"

THE END

AKA FUCKING FINALLY