[fic] chasing versions of our past ; captain marvel ; carol/maria

[delacourtings]

chasing versions of our past. captain marvel. carol/maria. pg-13. 697. ao3.

"that's new." she nodded her head towards the scar.

"oh," carol said. "is it?"

can carol get new scars? dunno, probably not, who cares. can she get the tag out of her own bra? probably but we don't care for logic in this house as it would ruin this idea that has been stuck in my head for ages.

 

title inspired by/kind of taken from daughter's youth. inspired by femslashficlets scar prompt from weeks ago but i missed that deadline so it doesn't count. for the promise prompt on my 100fandoms table.

Maria was in the kitchen fixing a glass of water when she heard the noise. A squeak, like something moving across the hardwood floor, and then a loud clatter.

 

She ran up the stairs, throwing open the door to Monica’s room but she was still soundly asleep.

 

Maria closed the door gently and walked to the room Carol had been staying in.

 

The door was ajar just slightly. Maria tapped her knuckles on the door.

 

“Everything okay?”

 

“Yeah!” Carol called back but her words were followed by a grunt and then a sigh.

 

“Actually, could you come in?”

 

Maria opened the door fully and was greeted by Carol in a sports bra and leggings.

 

“Hi,” Carol said, huffing.

 

“Hi?” Maria parroted, looking at the desk chair that was lying on the floor.

 

“There’s a plastic tag on this and I can’t quite reach.” Carol bent her arms to demonstrate, hobbling as she tried to find a position that allowed her to grab the tag.

 

“Ah,” Maria said. “Turn around.”

 

Carol did and Maria walker up to her. She carefully pulled the fabric of the bra back and yanked the tag out.

 

“There.” She said, smoothing the bra back down. As she did so, her eyes caught on a ragged line a few inches down from Carol’s shoulder blade. Her breath hitched.

 

“What?” Carol turned back her head to look at Maria. “Is something wrong?”

 

“Uh, no. No. That’s just,” Maria cleated her throat. “That’s new.” She nodded her head towards the scar.

 

“Oh,” Carol said. “Is it? I didn’t know.”

 

“You didn’t know,” Maria repeated.

 

“No. I don’t really...,” Carol trailed off. “I don’t know what was mine before. And what happened...what happened after. I just get flashes. Flashes of things that happened to me. No context. No details.”

 

“Right,” Maria modded. “Well, you didn’t have it when I saw you at least.”

 

“Okay. Thanks. For letting me know.”

 

“‘Course,” Maria smiled and turned to leave.

 

“Actually,” Carol said, stopping Maria in her tracks. “If you wouldn’t mind...I have this other one.” Carol tugged the band of her leggings down slightly, exposing her hip. “It’s just...it’s nice to know something about myself.”

 

Maria swallowed a lump in her throat. “Yeah,” she said but her voice cracked. “Yes. You already had that one. Had it when I first met you.”

 

Carol nodded then smiled softly. “Thanks.”

 

Maria nodded and turned to go but was interrupted again, this time by a loud gasp.

 

“Carol?” She asked, rushing over. “What’s wrong?”

 

Carol looked at her, eyes wide, wild.

 

She just stared for a moment, long enough for Maria to grow uncomfortable under her gaze.

 

“We were more, weren’t we? More than just...this. More than friends.”

 

Maria hesitated, her mind flashing with memories of the two of them together. Carol leaning over to kiss her for the first time, Carol laughing as Maria pushed her onto a bed. She wondered if Carol had seen the same things.

 

“Yes. We were...we were everything.”

 

Carol’s face took on a pained expression. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I don’t remember.”

 

“It’s alright.”

 

“It’s not,” Carol shook her head. “But I’m gonna get it back. My life, my memories. I promise.”

 

Maria smiled at the glimpse of the Carol she knew shining through. “I know you will.”

 

“There is one thing I know. I might not have the memories but I know it. In my heart. I love you. I felt it as soon as I saw you. I didn’t realize what it was but I know now.”

 

The tears that had been threatening to spill from Maria’s eyes finally came out.

 

“Thank you,” she whispered.

 

Carol came forward, hesitantly placing a hand on Maria’s shoulder. It made Maria’s heart ache. The old Carol, her Carol, would’ve wiped the tears from under her eyes, and this one would barely even touch her.

 

“I’m gonna find my way back to you. I promise.”

 

Maria didn’t know if she believed that, she wanted to, more than anything, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up. Then again, Carol had always been the one thing she could believe in. She always would be.