[fic] kids that i once knew; teen wolf; derek

[delacourtings]

kids that i once knew. teen wolf. derek. pg. 396.
he thinks about them sometimes, even though he tries not to.
for card_writing. title taken from here.

He thinks about them sometimes, even though he tries not to.

It comes at the most random of times, with a sudden burst of images flashing before his eyes and a sharp, phantom pain in his chest.

He'll be driving past the DMV and he'll suddenly see Erica, beaming, holding up a driver's license. A guy's over-extravagant prom proposal will be featured on the local news and he offhandedly thinks of how Erica could have topped that, wonders if she would have enlisted his and Isaac's help, concedes that Boyd probably would have known the whole time but would've pretended not too. For her. How he would say, "You could've just asked," with a stern expression, but the corner of his mouth would be twitching, desperate to smile.

He'll be in the grocery store, trying to decide between chocolate protein shakes or vanilla or what kind of vitamin water it is that's Lydia's favorite and he'll catch a glimpse of a scarf and curls. His head'll turn, so fast that if he were human it would probably break, and he'll think it's Isaac coming back home, to him. But it never is.

He thinks about them sometimes, though he tries not to.

He thinks of how Scott, who was once so kind and earnest and trusting, now knows what it's like to have the stain of someone you loved bleed onto your hands, to have the harshness of death constantly pressing down on your shoulders.

He thinks of Stiles, whose brain has always been his sharpest weapon, who can't even trust that anymore, who will probably go the rest of his life wondering if he will.

He thinks of Lydia. Of how she'll have to walk across the stage at graduation without her best friend by her side, of how no matter who she meets in the future, the maid of honor position will undoubtedly feel slightly empty at her wedding.

He thinks of all of them, of how no may times they close their eyes, their will always be pain and suffering and lifeless bodies behind them. Bodies of people that should be worrying about homework and dating and thinking they're having the time of their lives when it's really only just the beginning.

He thinks of Allison.

He think of them and he thinks, maybe, maybe the bite isn't such a gift after all.